🐾 When Goodbye Hurts: Talking to Kids About Losing a Pet

At Ts Haven, our animals are more than pets — they’re part of the family. And recently, our family had to say goodbye to one of our own: one of our sweet sugar gliders crossed the rainbow bridge. Is that a thing for all pets?

Even though we’ve loved and lost before, this one hit differently. Maybe because of his tiny size. Maybe because of his big personality. Maybe because I raised this little guy on my person (in my bra or little pouch tucked into my shirt) for the first year or more of his life. He went everywhere with us, trips, parties and even to work with me. My students loved seeing him each day. Class pet, NOT so much. I'm not even sure he was allowed in school.

But mostly, it was the look on my child’s face — the sadness, the questions, and the aching silence that followed.

That’s what inspired this post.

Because if you’ve ever had to help your child understand a loss you’re still hurting from… you’re not alone.

So how do we help them understand something even we adults struggle with?

Here’s what I’ve learned from both experience — and a few tearful cuddles on the couch.

Asher, the leucistic sugar glider, peeks out from a cozy pouch with curious, wide eyes. His normal coloring should be fluffy white with little pink ears. As you can see he was not white. All of the sudden the little guy stopped keeping himself clean. Glider are notorious for their immaculately clean coat. He was an elder glider and his vet seemed to think he was just getting older. I changed up his diet to include more nutrients necessary for older gliders. He became less active and I carried him around with me to keep him warm in his little fleece pouch, but he sadly passed.

💛 1. Be Honest — But Gentle

Avoid saying “they went to sleep” unless you’re ready for your child to develop a sudden fear of bedtime.

Instead, try:

“Their body stopped working. They died, and that means we won’t see them anymore, but we’ll always love them.”

Kids often handle truth better than we think — as long as it’s delivered with warmth.

💬 2. Let Them Ask Questions

Kids may ask surprising things:

• “Where did they go?”

• “Will they come back?”

• “Can we get another one tomorrow?”

All normal. All okay.

There’s no perfect answer, but being present and letting them talk is what matters most.

🖍 3. Give Them a Way to Remember

Saying goodbye doesn’t mean forgetting. Some helpful activities:

• Draw a picture or write a letter to the pet

• Make a “memory box” with their favorite toy or photo

• Plant a flower or decorate a stone in their honor

• Create a mini photo book together

These small rituals give grief a direction — and help kids process what they’re feeling.

🧸 4. Don’t Rush to “Replace”

Getting a new pet can be a beautiful step — but it shouldn’t be a distraction or bandage.

Let your child know it’s okay to miss their old friend first. Love doesn’t get replaced — it grows.

Asher had a female cage mate, Snowie. Since gliders shouldn't be kept alone, the vet gave us the go ahead to relocated her to our other cage with our two other females, Amelia and Baby.

But, the first thing my daughter asked was, When are we going to get another baby? I was tearing up while cleaned Asher's cage....I told her Asher can't be replaced.

😢 5. It’s Okay to Cry Too

The best gift you can give your child is the freedom to grieve — and that starts with you modeling it. If you tear up, say:

“I miss him too. We loved him so much.”

It teaches your child that sadness isn’t something to be fixed — it’s something to be felt.

🌈 Final Thoughts

Losing a pet may be a child’s first real experience with death. That makes it powerful — but also an opportunity. An opportunity to model honesty, compassion, and emotional safety.

Because when you help your child say goodbye with love and understanding, you’re really teaching them what it means to love deeply in the first place.

So whether you’re grieving now or preparing for the inevitable someday, I hope this gave you a little support — and a reminder that grief shared is grief softened.

💌 From our family (and in memory of one tiny glider with a big heart) — hugs and tail wags from Ts Haven. You’re not alone.